When I was working outside of my house, I had an instant support system. I was lucky – my colleagues were also my friends, and we all vented to each other. A lot. (It probably didn’t hurt that I worked in a college counseling center, and I was surrounded by therapists. Not only do we spend a lot of time listening to other people’s problems, but we’ve been known to get a bit mouthy about our own from time to time. Just a bit.)
I didn’t realize how much I relied on and appreciated the support until I left my job after my daughter was born. Although I get some grown-up time in class and meetings for my part-time jobs, I do most of my work from home. No more venting in between therapy sessions, no more trading stories over lunch at the Caf. It has taken me almost a year and a half, but I have slowly found a group of amazing Mommy friends, and I am so grateful for the time we spend together when my little Chooch isn’t in daycare.
But three days a week she is in daycare, and I feel compelled not to socialize on those days so I can get work done. Those are the days when Facebook and Twitter keep me from going completely insane.
I know most of my Facebook friends personally; the opposite is true on Twitter. Regardless, it continues to amaze me how brief status updates and 140-character blurbs can help me feel so connected.
The past month has been rough in my house. I had a cold, persistent cough, and sinus infection for three weeks, made harder by the dearth of medications available to pregnant women. Then the Chooch got pink eye and an ear infection, and within days of her recovery, my husband came down with a terrible stomach flu. Fortunately, three liters of IV fluids seem to have helped him tremendously. Oh, and we’ve been fighting a flooding basement for the past 48 hours (along with the rest of Massachusetts). We’re exhausted, and we need a break.
Yes, I’ve had some rough days through all of this. You can even read about one of them here if you’re so inclined. Fortunately, lots of things have helped – most notably, my family, my friends, and my online support network. People have offered concrete advice about everything ranging from pregnancy-safe cold treatments to dealing with a very wet basement. More importantly, they’ve reminded me that I’m not alone in all of this.
They’ve helped me keep perspective.
One person in particular comes to mind. I’ve never met her, and I only know a few details about her life. Her Twitter handle is #KristineBrite, and she has a story of loss and trauma that breaks my heart over and over again. She has been tweeting about her experience trying to get decent health care for her husband after he sustained a serious injury, and her spirit and resolve have been inspirational to me. Over the past several days, she has sought help online, but also continued to tweet about the experiences and challenges of others, offering them her thoughts and support. At time when most of us, myself included, could and would become completely self-absorbed, she is thinking of others and continuing to stay connected.
We were at the doctor’s office today, and they had just put an IV into my husband. He was incredibly sick (I’ll spare you the details), and I was waiting for him outside the restroom. He could hear me crying (there is only so much that a pregnant, sleep-deprived woman can handle), and tried to reassure me through the door. His weak voice was only slightly reassuring. Yet for some reason, at that moment, I thought of this woman, Kristine, who I have never met, and I felt better. I can’t tell you exactly what I was thinking, but I can tell you how I felt.
I didn’t feel less sad or scared or tired or overwhelmed, but I felt like I could handle it.
What a gift.
So, to Kristine, to my community, my old friends and new, those I have met and those I hope to meet soon, thank you. Reading about the smallest details of your day helps remind me that while life isn’t easy, that we all have our challenges, and most importantly, that we’re not alone. That I’m not alone. Somehow that makes is all so much better.
That’s what it’s all about, and my life is so much better because of all of you.
Thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment