Hey everyone, Slogan Writer here. Everyone I know was hyped when The Lost Generation came back for a second go-round, and I too was excited that Duffy realized it was the crumbling journalism industry and not stories of debauchery that was going to prevent him from securing employment. However, it seems like every day for the past month and a half or so, I’m asked the same question by friends and strangers alike. “Slogan Writer” they say, “Max’s picture is at the top of the webpage, and technically the blog is half his, so what’s preventing him from contributing……….well, anything really?” This is a very valid question to which I’ve only been able to reply “I have no idea, and more importantly, how did you find me in my mom’s basement?”
Well America, no longer will your cries fall on deaf ears. I was able to secure a one-on-one interview with the elusive Max at a New Milford bar, the transcript of which follows.
Disclaimer: Familiarize yourself with Allen Iverson’s “practice rant”, below, before reading Slogan’s interview with Max.
Slogan Writer: “Overall, Max, tell us how the original blog ended for you as a team?”
Max: “We lost it man. It ain’t a whole bunch to that. Simple as that, we lost it.”
SW: “What did you talk about in Duffy’s office?”
M: “Everything, you know, just me and him, you know, just let him know that I’m the pit bull in his yard and if anyone tries to intrude, I’ll be the first one to bite and protect the Train Station, you know, the same thing I’ve been saying from day one.”
SW: “Were you upset about the comments he made publicly last Saturday?”
M: “No question about it. That’s what happens when you disappear though, you know. When you disappear, there is a whole bunch of room for negativity and I don’t feed into this stuff and I do not do any talking. I don’t run my mouth. If Duffy has any issues with me, I believe there are things that I can control, things that I can get a grip on but this is what happens when you disappear. That’s what happened, you know, everybody take shots at Max. It’s just unfortunate that I can’t punch back.”
SW: “So you and Duffy got caught up on Saturday about blogging?”
M: ““If I can’t blog, I can’t blog. It is as simple as that. It ain’t about that at all. It’s easy to sum it up if you’re just talking about blogging. We’re sitting here, and I’m supposed to be the franchise contributor, and we’re talking about blogging. I mean listen, we’re sitting here talking about blogging, not a party, not a party, not a party, but we’re talking about blogging. Not the parties that I go out there and die for and drink every drink like it’s my last but we’re talking about blogging man. How silly is that?
Now I know that I’m supposed to lead by example and all that but I’m not shoving that aside like it don’t mean anything. I know it’s important, I honestly do but we’re talking about blogging. We’re talking about blogging man. We’re talking about blogging. We’re talking about blogging. We’re not talking about the parties. We’re talking about blogging. When you come to the Train Station, and you see me drink, you’ve seen me drink right, you’ve seen me give everything I’ve got, but we’re talking about blogging right now.”
SW: “Is it possible that if you blogged, not you but you would make your writing better?”
M: “How in the hell can I make my writing better by blogging?”
Now, I’m going to cut this off here. Needless to say, things just got weirder from this point on as Max’s drink count climbed. I was as astounded as you probably are by Max’s logic, so I’ll spare you the rest of the interview and cut straight to his last statement.
SW: “Do you think this is finally over and do you think it will come up again?”
MJ: “I hope that it is. But It ain’t really about me. I am selfish to the fact that my sister has to go through it. My sister is 18-years-old. Ask yourself, if your sister had to listen to people talk bad about that brother or sister all the time, how would you feel, honestly? If you have siblings, I know y’all understand. This is what my sister goes through at school. She comes home and says her teacher said Max don’t leave. Max, the girl in my class says you’re getting traded. All for a blog, a [expletive] blog.
A lot of y’all can’t put your feet in my shoes because you can’t handle it. But just try to stick your feet in my shoes. It does not have to be a [expletive] day, just try for a minute and try to deal with what I do in my life. My best friend is in a different state and we lost the old blog. And this is what I have to go through for the rest of the fall until the season is all over again. This is what I got to go through…this is my life in a nutshell. Now y’all come home and live your lovely life, live it up and live your life to the fullest.”
Well, there you have it America. Max – a raving, illogical, and possibly dangerously insane individual. Directly following that last statement he smashed his glass against the wall and angrily stormed out, sticking me with a $150 bar bill and a better understanding of just the type of person I was dealing with. Hopefully everyone now realizes that he’ll post again when he “damn well feels like it” and just ride out the indeterminate length of time with the patient hope that I have.
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